Pokémon Goes Republican

July 19, 2016
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My friends and I are addicted to Pokémon Go to the point of stupidity. I’m mean who’s not, right? Anyway, we got a tip that the coveted and rare Pokémon Vaporeon was going to be at the Republican National Convention in Cleaved so naturally I used my mom’s credit card and booked a flight for my crew and myself. We arrived at the convention and immediately snuck backstage in time to see Donald Trump arrive with his beautiful wife, Malaria and BAM! There it was – a Pokémon Vaporeon hiding in Malaria’s stunning, white dress from Target. With so many people around we couldn’t pounce on Malaria and snag the Vaporeon so we anxiously waited. We finally got our chance when Malaria took the stage to give a speech she plagiarized from Michelle Obama. The slippery Vaporeon popped out from under Malaria’s dress and tried to hide on top of a travel trunk full of Trump’s toupees and boxer shorts. My crew and I did capture the Vaporeon but demolished Trump’s travel trunk and toupees in the process. We were then quickly roughed up and tossed out of the convention by a pack of angry Trump supporters wearing t-shirts that read, “Toupee Wearers for Trump” but the bruises were well worth it. Go Pokémon Go!

~ The Unknown Blogger