The Unknown Blogger

The Unknown Blogger: Where's Bill?

Amidst his sexual harassment scandal, Fox News host Bill O’Reilly has decided he needs to take a vacation. Mr. Bill did not disclose where he would be vacationing but invited his viewers to take a guess via his “Where’s Bill Going on Vacation” poll at billoreilly.com. My unreliable sources at...
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Dancing with the Perry

The 2016 Dancing with the Stars lineup was recently announced and among the so-called stars is former Texas governor Rick Perry. As such and from an unreliable source, it’s rumored that Mr. Perry has demanded that the show change its name to Dancing with the Mofos. Also from my unreliable source,...
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Balloons, Balloons, Balloons

The Democratic National Convention wrapped up last night in Pennsylvania and if you didn’t watch it on T.V., here’s a spoiler alert for all you Bernie fans - Bernie Sanders will not be president. I was lucky enough to attend DNC 2016 and here are the top ten things I overheard while on the...
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Pokémon Goes Republican

My friends and I are addicted to Pokémon Go to the point of stupidity. I’m mean who’s not, right? Anyway, we got a tip that the coveted and rare Pokémon Vaporeon was going to be at the Republican National Convention in Cleaved so naturally I used my mom’s credit card and booked a flight for my crew...
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#BuildAWallAroundTrump

After much consideration, I, the Unknown Blogger, have decided to run for president of the United States in 2016. My running mate will be my Mexican, Pedro and together we’ll make all your wildest dreams come true. As president my first priority in office will be to build a ginormous wall around...
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Unfair

Donald Trump thinks the political delegate system is "rigged" and otherwise unfair. Boohoo, Donald. Boohoo. I'm not a Donald Trump supporter and politics aside, here are a couple other things that are unfair. Trump probably sipped Champaign today from a gold chalice. I sipped water today from a...
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